"Good Grief"

Matthew 5:4

"Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted"

"I can't be strong anymore," she told her Grief Group.

Joe's been dead three weeks, and only a few hours ago did it really hit me that he really is dead. I will never see him again. He's gone! He's never coming back."    She cried. And she sobbed

Up to this point her husband's death was followed by a time of pretence. She had always placed his plate on the table at meal time. She had carried on a make believe conversation with him. She had to visit her brother's house and get almost intoxicated on alcohol for her grief to really surface. He's really dead. He's not coming back.

That day she really began her pilgrimage back to real life, and the true joys of life. Some times she cried at unexpected times. At other times she would become very angry ... angry at God ... angry at life for dealing her such a hand.

She had great difficulty changing pleasant experiences to pleasant memories. Sometimes she would visit a favorite restaurant the two liked. At the holidays many warm memories would surface ... In about six months the future started returning. She was planning where she was going on vacation and other experiences to which she looked forward.

Strange is the grieving process of life.

It contains shock, denial, anger, pain, depression, renewal.

Sometimes these feelings come like a flood. Sometimes they march in an orderly procession. They are all normal.

ALL OF US ARE PROBABLY GRIEVING SOMETHING THIS DAY.

GRIEF COMES MANY TIMES DURING OUR LIVES ... IT COMES AT:

LOSS OF ADVANCEMENT

LOSS OF FRIEND

GRIEVE LOSS OF MUSCLE TONE, AND THE AGING PROCESS.

CHILDREN LEAVE HOME

CHILDREN GO TO SCHOOL

MARRIAGE OF CHILD

MARRIAGE ITSELF

They were married only six months and something was wrong. They knew they loved each other. Maybe someone else can help. They went to see their minister.

One of the couple was from Virginia. Head registrar of a prominent University  there. The other was from N.C. and head of his department at his university. Both were in their 40's ...second for him, and first for her.

They began to talk... especially the man. Then he asked her to explain what was happening to her. I don't know I just feel lost. I cry a lot for no reason. For some strange reason I want to go home and visit my old friends ...laugh and have a good time. I just feel overwhelmed.

The pastor suggested, "You guys may be grieving the loss of your previous life style.  Both of you were very successful before marriage.  You lived hundreds of miles apart and had your own life.  Marriage has interrupted both of your lives as well as adding a new dimension.

Then they started talking to each other. Sharing the hurt and frustration and the grief through which they were going.  In the session the wife decided to go back to her former friends for a weekend visit.  In fact, she decided that she would continue to cultivate her old friends and relationships.  Both seemed more relaxed when they left.  They had indeed solved their issue.

I've often wondered how many people are suffering from unexpressed grief.

JESUS SAID ...

HAPPY ARE THOSE PERSONS WHO CAN MOURN (Grieve) TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT IT CANNOT BE HID, FOR THEY SHALL BE COMFORTED. In short, Happy are those who grieve openly.

God has created us with built in systems to protect and insure the healing of our persons. Most of these systems are controlled by our subconscious and are activated without conscious thought. These systems protect us. Emotional release in grief is part of this system. Crying at death is a blessing and should not be thwarted. To thwart it will lock up one's emotional system and bring on illnesses that will work out the grief for us in another way. The best way is the natural and normal. BAWL YOUR EYES OUT!

Several years ago during a seminar in the Holy Land the teacher told us that tears to the ancients were very precious. Many devout Jewish homes had two cups on the mantel. In one they kept the tears of joy and in the other they would keep the tears of sadness. In that way they measured the hand life was dealing them.

Said he the twenty third Psalm alludes to this fact.

The Lord is My Shepherd

I shall not want.

Green valleys, still waters, valley of the shadow of death.

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER ... BECAUSE GOD'S GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME ALL THE DAYS OF MY LIFE, AND EVENTUALLY I WILL DWELL IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD FOREVER.

When the time of mourning comes ... let it happen ... go with your feelings. Forget about others ... do your thing!

II. The Greek Word for MOURNING has two essential meanings. The first is personal grief. THE SECOND WOULD BE STATED THUSLY ...

All of us have experienced such trauma ...

millions of Americans going through financial difficulties

Illness of a friend.

A friend moving.

We are just now really realizing that we live in an interdependent world. Injustice does not live in isolation. Neither does pain, and human depravity.

If we mourn ... THERE IS A PROMISE IN THIS BEATITUDE ...

YOUR LIFE WILL BE OF GOOD DESIRE ... You will live once again in the expectancy that there is good in your immediate future. A new freedom will come to your life. New joys will emerge. New expectations will be born. You will be free to enjoy the fullness of life.